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Reveling in the fickle nature of fangirlishness

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The End: "More than that, we keep each other human."
sophie_deangirl

Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven. - Tryon Edwards

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood. -Martin Luther King, Jr.



This episode was FAR AND AWAY the best episode so far!!! It did a PHENOMENAL job of reuniting our brothers and in the most believable way. I didn't feel it was rushed or conveniently written to speed up the reunion for the sake of bringing Dean and Sam back together to move the story along. Far from it! It felt real, completely heartfelt and that they were on the same page for the first time for the mission ahead. Something they haven't been for a long time. It was so reassuring and well, downright beautiful. Yes, this DeanGirl got a TON of Dean AWESOMENESS, but it was also all about bringing Dean to an awareness that would reunite him and Sam. My heart swelled with pride when Dean told Sam that he was sorry that yeh, they were each other's Achilles Heels, but that what was most important was that they would keep each other human, that they would remind each other that becoming vessels for the pissing match between the angels and the demons wasn't the way for saving themselves or for saving the world. It solidifed what Dean had said in the hospital to Bobby and Sam in Sympathy for the Devil. Let them duke it out on some other planet, that Earth was theirs.

I completely LOVED that the supposed lesson that Zacariah was trying to "teach" Dean COMPLETELY backfired and that Dean took away EXACTLY what he should have from the whole exercise.

"Oh I learned a lesson, all right. Just not the one you wanted to teach."

I LOVED that the image Zacariah painted of FutureDean never even took into consideration the content of Dean's deeper character and conviction. He just set FutureDean up as a disillusioned warrior, willing to set his fellow comrades up to selfishly achieve his sole goal, killing Lucifer/Sam. He doesn't know Dean at all, that he would never do that. Dean so much as declared as much to his future self. When PresentDean observes FutureDean, you can tell that he is coming away from his "lesson" with a completely different viewpoint. You can see the "What the?" confusion on his face.

Instead of hearing FutureDean's pleas to choose being a vessel for Michael because if he could do it over again, he'd choose it, that he had made a mistake by not choosing it because Sam had said yes to Lucifer and finally that making that choice was a one-shot only opportunity, PresentDean comes away from his experience not feeling that he has to become Michael's vessel, but rather he had realized that it had been his earlier decision of not reuniting with Sam that had been the real mistake.

Once again, it was the ending that coalesced everything into one powerful moment, a moment where I was both crying and cheering. Dean was humble and apologetic and yet completely inspiring, telling Sam essentially what we fans have known all along, that they are stronger and better together, that they need each other to keep each other human. It was wonderful because keeping each other human is the true key to their eventual success in the Apocalypse. Becoming vessels for either cause was just letting others decide their fates, to allow others to control them. You can see in Dean's eyes that he will not let that happen.

"The point is maybe we are each other's Achilles Heel and maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other. I don't know. I just know we're all we've got, more than that, we keep each other human."

They are just beautifully said words, expressed from the heart, from a loving and devoted big brother and for which a little brother was grateful at hearing the admission and apology, swearing to the big brother he has idolized that he won't disappoint him.

I can't say enough of how FANTASTIC Jensen was in this, playing both Deans with just the perfect measures of differing emotions so you could tell them apart, most notably where hopelessness and despair had struck the FutureDean and where a PresentDean couldn't fathom becoming given his current resolve and battle philosophy, that he would never put others in harm's way on purpose, let alone sacrificing them to a trap just to get to his ultimate goal. The contrast is stark, but also reassuring. We can't imagine a Dean so hardened that he would disregard human life. It's a quality expressed by Dean himself in It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester as Dean allows himself to feel pride for saving the people of the town. Jensen was PHENOMENAL! Every moment he played either Dean was played for maximum effect for what he wanted to convey as that Dean and remarkably he was able to make the distinction so clear that you think each Dean is a different man. That they WERE different men. It was magical to watch.

The lighter moments were well done and didn't feel out of place amongst the gravity of the situation. Chuck was HILARIOUS, telling PresentDean to hoard toilet paper for the future. It was nice to know he was still with the guys, but clearly no longer a prophet. The angels abandonment is keenly felt in the future and you can't help but think as Sam did when he had met Castiel and Uriel for the first time, that the image we have of angels being merciful and benevolent isn't completely true. Zacariah's "hard sell" to Dean to convince him to his point of view by using the image of a future without having made the choice of becoming Michael's vessel compared to Lucifer's downright sympathetic and apologetic approach to Sam's inevitable fate demonstrates the difference. Have to credit Kurt Fuller for giving Zacariah a menacing quality that darkens with each appearance.

Cas's desperation as a fallen angel, allowing his own hopelessness to defeat him is also stark because we've see PresentCas's resolute belief in God and that He hasn't abandoned them so to see him fall into a hedonistic freefall was both funny and tragic. Misha Collins was great as well acting Cas's contrasts as his future self and his present self.

Jared as Lucifer did an AWESOME job of tempering Lucifer as Mark Pellegrino did. They both gave Lucifer an eerie sympathetic quality, a calm of inevitably that draws you in hypnotically accepting even though every fiber in your being tells you not to believe what they are telling you or that it is wrong to accept that inevitability. It was wonderfully played by Jared and you can believe Dean's tearful defiance as Sam/Lucifer tells him that no matter what Dean does, he would still end up where they were at that moment, with Sam as Lucifer facing Dean or Dean ending up as FutureDean, dead from a broken neck at the hands or foot of his little brother. They are words that in the not too distant past, Dean might have allowed himself to believe and surrender to because of his then compromised self-worth, but not now. You know that Dean has already learned the lesson he knew he had to learn before he faced Zacariah and that it wasn't the lesson Zacariah had planned on teaching him and it gives you joy.

The episode was undeniably the best so far and the reunion it cemented felt right and most certainly long awaited in more ways than just proximity. The emotional divide is slowly being bridged. I harbor no illusions that the boys still have a lot of angst to work through and for me that's to be expected and reveled in. Rome wasn't built in a day as the saying goes and coming together beyond just forgiveness will take time and investment, more importantly trust will have to be built again. Time is what our boys have very little of, but I know that they will make the most of it and that they will come through it whole again, rebuilt to be stronger than they ever were. Of that I am certain and this episode was a GREAT first step towards that goal.

Hooray! Thanks for reading as always. It's appreciated very much.

On to Fallen Idol and Paris Hilton this week. Sheesh, just saying that makes me cringe, but I will trust Eric Kripke when he said to give the episode and her a chance. Hee!

ADDENDUM:

After reading this blog, I had to laugh.  I wrote it on my iPhone like last time and though I am satisfied with what I said, when I printed it out, I realized it was only 2 pages long and I know that I've babbled for many more pages in other blogs.  Why that is funny is because considering the episode was a DeanGirl's dream, full of delicious Dean moments every minute,  I'm just shocked that I didn't go on and on about the greatness of every Dean detail. I guess I was so gobsmacked by it all, I could only sum it all up as simply Dean AWESOMENESS.  Now, as I not only reread my blog and review the episode detail by minute detail, I realize that everyone who loves Dean and Jensen for that matter would totally know and not have missed a single detail of what I would have mentioned, it was THAT Dean-a-licious.  However, I also realized that I was remiss in mentioning some things in greater detail that deserve mentioning and closer scrutiny so I'm taking a moment to do that. 

Okay, Dean being chased.  SEXY. There is so much athleticism in the way Dean moves swiftly and smoothly. Jensen gets all the credit there.  DeanGirl moment that HAD to be expressed.

Oh, the one MAJOR detail that I forgot (how could I have forgotten, I'll never know) about and HAD to mention and make up for was how Bobby was a casualty of the war five years hence.  Seeing his empty wheelchair, shot full of holes, broke my heart.  I've been worried every season that Bobby would someday become a Supernatural casualty and have been relieved every time that he was spared, granted this time around he didn't end up unscathed, but he's still alive so to see his "future" that way was heartbreaking. Though I know the possibility still exists that Bobby will be lost in the war, I want it to be in battle with Dean and Sam by his side.  That would be the glorious death I would wish for Bobby. The thought also occurred though never expressed that maybe FutureDean could have sent him on a suicide mission too or that Bobby's death drove FutureDean into a deeper degradation. I LOVED that Dean knew where to look for Bobby's journal.  We've never really seen his journal so it was cool to discover that.

OH! HOW COULD I FORGET? Dean's reaction to finding the Impala, broken and shattered too, like its owner.  It was like watching someone who had just found a loved one injured or worse, dead. Jensen played this to HILARIOUS and sympathetic perfection. 

I LOVED seeing Dean in full hunter mode. He was so smart and stealthy until he saw the Impala, hee! There's a raw sexiness that comes from the capable way he handles himself.  You can see the training and the natural instinct that Dean possesses.

The Rhonda Hurley story! FALL DOWN HILARIOUS!  Talk about the VERY LAST thing I thought Dean would ever experience, let alone admit even to himself that he wore a girl's panties and liked it. I JUST ABOUT BUSTED A GUT!  Also, oddly enough, Dean admitting such an intimidate detail that is totally counter to his macho, manly image was refreshing somehow. 

Oh, and I truly believe the turning point for Dean making the decision to reunite with Sam came from learning that Sam had "died" in Detroit without him being there, that his future double never reconciled with Sam and that Sam had died alone.  It didn't matter that FutureDean lied about that, that Sam was still alive though worse than finding out that he was dead,  was learning that he had said yes to being Lucifer's vessel. It was just the idea that PresentDean heard himself say that Sam had been on his own, that his future self hadn't even tried to find Sam and get back together with him.  It brought all too close to home his earlier words to Sam that they were weaker together and better apart.

FutureDean was everything that we DeanGirls know isn't Dean.  He killed an innocent man and despite his claim that the man had contracted the Croatoan virus, you can't help, but wonder if it was completely true. There would be no doubt with PresentDean because the remorse would be written all over his face. The real Dean would never take such an action lightly or not feel the affects of doing something like that. The cold-bloodedness of the act was jarring and unpleasant.  Shocking of all, we learn that FutureDean has been using the torture skills he learned in Hell to glean information from demons.  In a way, just like Sam did, but probably minus the good intentions that Sam at least tried to convince himself he was doing it for. The surprise on PresentDean's face was evident and you know in your heart that the idea that he would be so changed by the events leading up to their situation considering how hard he didn't want to use them on the episode, On The Head of a Pin, was reprehensible to him.  He even realized then the consequences of giving in to those "skills". PresentDean even berates his future self for turning to it. FutureDean, as a commander, is nothing more than a dictator, someone who doesn't consider any other suggestions or thoughts other than his own.  He's cold, uncaring, calculating without regard to the lives charged to his command.  I love FutureCas's disdain for FutureDean. It tells all you need to know.  FutureDean is everything we don't want Dean to become.  This lesson was more than just about what happens to the world if Dean doesn't consent to being Michael's vessel, though you know it's what Zacariah wanted Dean to take away from it.  This lesson was to open Dean's eyes to what he could become and to what he now knows is someone he doesn't want to become.  I love their final confrontation when FutureDean begs PresentDean to say yes. PresentDean tells him the ramifications of the one-on-one battle, that half the world will be destroyed and FutureDean rationalizes with half a world is better than no world at all. One thing though, what Zacariah and his version of Dean don't mention is that if Dean consents to being Michael, then someone still has to be Lucifer, sure, Nick is him now, but Lucifer, who apparently can't lie, said, Nick is just a transitional vessel, that Sam, ultimately must become Lucifer's vessel. How does Dean consenting to being Michael's vessel help that? Does becoming Michael give him more powers to kill Lucifer who, at this point is still just a man, a human vessel? Dean could do that as Dean. PresentDean is striving to find that other solution and I know that he will find it because his first and foremost concern are the very people that God loves over his own.  I think that mission will earn Dean some kind of preferential treatment from God in the end. Dean believes in humanity as God does.

"Oh, man,  something is broken in you.  You're making decisions that I would NEVER make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends."

This line is AMAZING.  It says more about Dean than anything else.  Despite all he's gone through and the baggage that he's mostly unloaded, one thing hasn't changed, he would NEVER sacrifice friends or innocents for the sake of winning a battle or a war.  He so much as said so in Jus in Bello. He would never sacrifice his humanity and humanity in general just to win. The end doesn't justify the means in Dean's eyes, an adage that fits well with the title of the episode in a way.  I wonder if there is a double meaning intended there, not just to give a sense of finality of the world as it is portrayed in the episode.  I also love that he tries to stop FutureDean from sacrificing his friends, but is knocked out in the trying.

I never get tired of the meeting between PresentDean and Sam/Lucifer.  It's painful, awful, heart breaking and yet you can't help, but love that Dean doesn't fall for Sam/Lucifer's seduction, doesn't let him touch him. Again, Jared does a PHENOMENAL (have to use that thesaurus, running out of adjectives) job at playing Lucifer.  His love for God's "handiwork" is apparent and feels authentic, not even the remotest bit insincere or sarcastic.  He believe that he truly loves Earth, sadly, just not its people, humanity.  His disdain for them is unmistakeable and his resentment for them being chosen as God's favorites over him clearly evident and it's here that you see underneath the slick seduction, that Lucifer is no better than a spurned child. I LOVE that Dean tells Sam/Lucifer that he doesn't buy his "sympathy for the devil crap". I cheered. Still the tear is in Dean's eye, the tremble in his body as he defiantly tells Sam/Lucifer that he's no better than a cockroach, just one with a bigger ego (HILARIOUS! Only Dean can make an insult and get a laugh from it).  Then with one tear drop, he tells Sam/Lucifer that he's wrong, that he will kill him. HOW DOES JENSEN DO THAT!!!!!!  *THUD!  I love how when Dean tells Sam/Lucifer that he better kill him now because he would find a way to kill him and wouldn't stop until he did, it had the same resonance as when he told Azazel in the episode, In the Beginning that it would be him that would kill him. There is a definitive tone to it that you believe he will. Just before Dean says, "nah" to Zacariah, the expression on his face reveals his inner debate and when a decision is made, the look is PRICELESSLY Dean! There's almost a moment of peace that flits across Dean's face for just a second as he heaves a sigh, as if to say, that he's made his peace with his choice. When Cas pulls him out and they face each other, Cas's face is also filled with satisfaction, maybe even a little pride over Dean's choice, as if knowing it.  It's a WONDERFUL moment.  Misha and Jensen played it perfectly.

Okay, I think I've made up for my lack of detail in my blog with this addendum. Hee!  Sorry I was so gobsmacked that I didn't cover them before, but now, in the relative calm of distance, I'm able to ooo and ahhh and give proper notice and credit to those wonderful moments!

Thanks for letting me babble.  On to this week's Fallen Idol.  Boy, Paris Hilton better pay off because I'm seriously having a hard time coming to terms that I'll be able to take this episode seriously, but I guess even if it turns out to be fluff, it will be a nice break from the heavy duty angst of this episode.  See you then.



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I completely LOVED that the supposed lesson that Zacariah was trying to "teach" Dean COMPLETELY backfired and that Dean took away EXACTLY what he should have from the whole exercise.

I loved that too. I'm really suspicious about what Dean saw. It could have been real, but everyone seemed to be telling Dean things geared to make him say "Yes," to being used as a vessel and that seemed awfully convenient...

It was wonderful because keeping each other human is the true key to their eventual success in the Apocalypse.

Very well said! :) I think so too. They really do keep each other grounded.

Every moment he played either Dean was played for maximum effect for what he wanted to convey as that Dean and remarkably he was able to make the distinction so clear that you think each Dean is a different man. That they WERE different men. It was magical to watch.

So true!!! It really was. They were both Dean, but so different! As we've said many times, "How does Jensen do that?!"

They are words that in the not too distant past, Dean might have allowed himself to believe and surrender to because of his then compromised self-worth.

I agree. His new strengths really showed there.

Sheesh, just saying that makes me cringe, but I will trust Eric Kripke when he said to give the episode and her a chance.

Lol, me too! Paris Hilton and Supernatural...two things you'd never think could be connected, lol! It will be interesting to see how the episode turns out.

Fabulous blog as always! :)

-Laughter

I came and read your words, Soph, and as always, it was a pleasure! I thought this was the best ep. of the season so far. Jensen raised his own personal bar, IMO. I don't know how, but he keeps on doing that-AMAZING!!! LOVED BOTH DEANS. SO MUCH. He even gave FutureDean many different layers-SCARY!, tough, commanding, battle-weary, sad, and OH-SO-VERY-HOT! HOT! HOT!...*sigh*...WOW!...Just WOW!
Paris Hilton tonight. Kripke is the only one for whom I would watch her because I think he'll do it right. See ya next week! Thanks!

Hey Beth! *waves*

It's me, Tamara, as promised! :)

I love your perceptions of FutureDean and PastDean because there are so true! The Future Dean was just a dictator; a cold distant commander who frankly scared me to pieces! *shivers*


"Oh, man, something is broken in you. You're making decisions that I would NEVER make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends."

This line is AMAZING. It says more about Dean than anything else. Despite all he's gone through and the baggage that he's mostly unloaded, one thing hasn't changed, he would NEVER sacrifice friends or innocents for the sake of winning a battle or a war. He so much as said so in Jus in Bello. He would never sacrifice his humanity and humanity in general just to win. The end doesn't justify the means in Dean's eyes, an adage that fits well with the title of the episode in a way.


So true!
Despite breaking in hell and becoming something less then human, Dean embraced the chance to value humanity and uses it in his arguments with Castiel and Sam at various times. He KNOWS the consequences of breaking and choosing to let his humanity be destroyed. Which is what convinced me that what Zachariah showed Dean was a hoax to force Dean to agree to be Michael's vessel. Dean, IMHO, would never become something like that because of the depth of his character as you also said. The depth of feeling Dean is capable of is so often overlooked because he acts like a crude, sarcastic, boneheaded screw up half the time, when it truth, that is largely an act meant to lure his opponents into false confidence. We see it time and time again. Dean is, of the Winchesters, the most often under-estimated because he acts like he doesn't pay attention and makes crude jokes without need (granted, I'm usually smiling and shaking my head, thanking him for breaking the tension so I step back and think a bit). As a Deangirl, I can wholeheartedly say that Dean --DOES-- pay attention more than he lets on ( heck, he re-created the angel banishing spell after having seen it, what, three times total? And he knew exactly how it worked after having watch Castiel create it in "Lucifer Rising")

While I think the lesson Dean learned from the trip Zachariah sent him on... Sidenote: I ADORED the conversation between Dean and Castiel at the beginning! So funny and sweet! Back on track. I think Sam needs to learn a similar lesson.

The ending of the episode, while gratifying, didn't sit quite right with me. I feel that Sam calling after Lucifer appears to him and tells Sam he is meant to be Lucifer's true vessel was a mistake. I don't blame Dean at all for not wanting to team back up with Sam. Sam was in trouble and needs big brother to save him again. And Sam was surprised Dean didn't have a greater reaction when he told him. I think it has to do with Dean knowing that something like that was the only reason Sam would call anyway. The fact Dean chooses to overlook that after being brought back from the "future" speaks very highly of Dean's morality and humbleness. Dean is willing to admit he may be wrong about being better off apart and apologizes to Sam for it. It doesn't change the fact Sam came back to the hunt because he realized he didn't stand a chance eluding Lucifer on his own and needs his brother to help him.

But, I digress :) I really do love Sam but I'm not exactly happy with him. I think Dean's reactions thus far this season have been fairly tempered by a strong maturity that Sam is seriously lacking.

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