Log in

No account? Create an account

Unabashed Spoiler Hound & Fanfic writer

Reveling in the fickle nature of fangirlishness

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Untold Truths Part 2/2

Inspired by faye_dartmouth's Not in the Cards. Dedicated to her and lena7142.

Warning: Character death.

Summary: Some secrets are revealed to Rick

Untold Truths

Part 2:

Rick returned to the office to share the explanation of Billy's wishes and to deliver the DVDs he had made for Michael and Casey, Billy's last goodbyes to them.

"He made the right choice," Michael said, placing a hand on Rick's shoulder and smiling.

"But he barely knew me-"

"He knew all he needed to know, what was important to know," Michael said musing over Billy's talent and how much he would miss him. "Billy didn't turn off his skill for reading people when the missions ended. He's...was the most intuitive person I've ever known in my career. It was one of many reasons that made him the best."

Rick heard Michael's admiration and was warmed by it. Michael didn't let his guard down often.

"He made the right choice, Rick," Michael repeated.

"He knew us too. Six months, six years, it didn't matter," Casey interjected. "Michael would try, for Billy, but the job, the missions they would always come first and I..."

Casey bowed his head.

"All I could teach his son would be how to hurt people. Billy knew that. I'd protect the kid, but I'm not the kind of man..." Casey trailed off, his expression softening to as close to sentimental as he could be. "Michael's right. He made the right decision."

Rick looked at his friends and their loss was profound, probably much more than they would openly reveal, but their understanding and acceptance of Billy's revelation was unquestionable. It made him feel proud of belonging to the ODS, that all the initial hazing and suffering had been worth it.


Rick took time off to travel to London. Simon had made all of the arrangements and had insisted that it had been Billy's wish to pay for everything. Simon had also contacted Olivia Drummond to pave the way for Rick's visit to lay Billy to his final rest. She had agreed to meet Rick and for him to meet Billy's son before they spread Billy's ashes in North Edinburgh.

Rick was as nervous as he had ever been in his life. This was the love of Billy's life, the family that he should have had, that he had deserved to have and was denied. And now, a perfect stranger was coming to visit them, to tell them about what had happened to Billy, to share his fond memories of him with them and to deliver the last DVD from Billy to be viewed by Olivia and him per Billy's wishes.

He knocked on the door, his heart thrumming in his chest, his palms sweaty. When it opened, a lovely brunette woman with eyes that reminded him of green tourmaline greeted him.

"Olivia Drummond?" He asked.

She smiled.

"Rick Martinez?"

Rick smiled in return and nodded.

"Please call me Liv," she said as she extended her hand. Rick took it gently and shook it.

A small head then popped through the doorway, the spitting image of his father, his brown hair a bit askew in places as if he had just awakened from a nap, the mischievous glint in his sapphire blue eyes, and his smile was beaming from ear to ear. Liam also possessed his father’s fearlessness, open and playful even to someone he had never met. Rick's chest tightened again and he couldn't breathe for a second. Little Liam was already like his father.

"Uncle Rick!" He exclaimed.

Rick couldn't hide the shock and surprise on his face. Olivia smiled.

"I think an explanation is in order," she said and welcomed him into her home.

They walked back to a room where a TV was on. Liam grasped Rick's hand with the kind of complete trust and acceptance of a child who knew the person’s hand he was holding. Rick tightened his grip in immediate affection for the little boy. Liam looked up and giggled. Rick smiled widely back.

"Come on now, let's watch daddy! He's on the telly!" He yelped as he led Rick onto the couch in front of the TV.

Rick flashed Olivia a look of concern, worried that Liam still didn't know that his father was dead. She picked up on it and smiled.

"He knows," she said simply.

Liam let go of Rick's hand and grabbed the remote.

“Dad sent this to us to tell us you were going to visit. When mummy told me you were coming, I had her pop it in so that I could see it again, yeh?” Liam explained.

He pressed a button, leaped back onto the couch and sat next to Rick, grabbing his hand again.

Rick could only watch in awe.

Billy popped on screen. Rick watched Liam's wonder and luminous smile at seeing his father and could only feel his own loss. How he wished he could feel Liam's carefree acceptance.

"There's my dad. He's in heaven now."

Rick felt his heart break at the innocent delivery of the words and was impressed by Liam's resilience.

"There's my little man. You know that your daddy loves you, right?" Billy's voice filled the room through the television speakers.

Rick wanted to close his eyes and imagine that all of what he was doing was a dream. A very bad dream. He knew it was futile, but Liam's devotion and belief was infectious. His effusive love for his father washed over Rick and the wave was overwhelming.

"I know, daddy," Liam said back even though Billy wasn't really there to hear it. "I love you too."

Rick thought he'd collapse from the weight of the injustice of fate to rob this child his father.

"Right then, are you ready for your visit with Uncle Rick?"

"He's here, daddy. Just like you said he would come."

Rick caught a glimpse of Olivia. The expression on her face was a mix of delight at her son's free spirit and open hearted love for his father and of the crushing loss of his presence for her and her son. Her fingers were delicately over her mouth and nose, trying to keep from sobbing. She was being brave for her son, but barely and he couldn’t blame her.

"Right, well, when he comes to visit, I want you to be on your best behavior, all right? Make me proud, yeh? Course you could have the giggles and I’d be proud of ya," Billy teased.

"Oh, dad, you're being silly again. I promise to be good," Liam smiled.

"He's my best mate. The best of the lot, yeh? You have a best mate, don't ya, son?"

"Yeh, dad. His name's Colin. He’s a right good mate."

"Rick is going to take care of you and your mum because much as I want to, I can't be with ya, but make no mistake your dad loves you with all of his heart."

"I know, daddy. Mummy tells me all the time."

Liam then stopped the DVD player, freezing Billy in time.

"Is my dad your best mate, Uncle Rick?" Liam asked in the innocent way that only a child could pose a question.

Rick took in a breath and stroked the little boy's head then his face, cupping it and smiling at him.

"Yeh, he's the best friend I have ever had. Your dad is a hero...he’s my hero."

Liam smiled wide. He pressed the play button on the remote again and Billy came back on. Rick randomly thought to himself "if only it was that easy".

"I want you to know that I will always love you with all my heart, my wee one. I know I say it all the time, but I like saying it and even though I can't be with you, my mate, Rick, he's going to make sure you are safe and be your mate too."

Rick felt the weight of responsibility, but wasn't afraid of it anymore because he knew that doing this for Billy was the least he could do for a man who had never doubted him, who had trusted him fully with the job and with his life and who hadn’t had a hint of reservation at entrusting his son to his care. Rick needed to teach those qualities to Billy's son. It would be like passing on Billy's legacy to him since he couldn't do it himself.

"I miss my dad a lot, but I know he loves me and I know that he would be with me if he could."

Liam looked up at Rick.

“He would be. I know that he would,” Rick said, doing his best not to cry.

"I know he loves mummy and I know he loves you too, Rick. I can tell, you know. Mum says I got a gift for it like my dad did.”

Rick couldn’t help, but smile. Billy’s influence, it was already there in his little boy and Rick’s heart swelled both out of his own pride, but for Billy’s too, who would have been bursting with it himself at the sight of his intuitive son.

“I can see that and yeh, your dad, he could always tell when I needed a friend.”

“Do you want to be my friend then? That way I can tell too."

Rick was so moved by Liam's generosity. He felt an overwhelming rush of familiarity and it was as if Billy was there with them, his presence was so strong in life, Rick could believe that it couldn't be that easily extinguished.

"I would like that very much."

Olivia watched with awe and showed her own motherly pride at Liam's trust and acceptance. It reminded her so much of her Liam and how despite being a spy, he had an almost mystical ability to infuse his infectious zest and joy for life to anyone he came across. It was that among many other qualities that she had fallen in love with and had still loved to the present day.

Olivia put Liam down for his overdue nap which allowed her and Rick time to talk alone.

"Liam's a great kid," he said.

"He is. Liam and I, that is Billy, and I had agreed to put Liam first above ourselves and to not let the distance affect him. Videos and Skype helped to keep little Liam's life as normal as we could and feel loved."

Rick smiled.

"You and Billy did a great job," Rick complimented.

"The reason little Liam knew you, called you Uncle Rick is because Liam had been telling his son all about his friends and showing him pictures of all of you so he’d know you. He'd regale him about your missions like they were adventure fairy tales, leaving out the scary and secret things, of course, but otherwise, he made all of you heroes. Liam was proud to be a part of your group. You quite literally gave him a second chance to do what he loved. For that, I thank you."

Rick smiled, but it trembled and he hated that he was losing his grip. Olivia saw it and placed a comforting hand on his.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be. You may think I have things under control, but when the house is silent and little Liam's asleep, I'm far from it. Sometimes I still find myself expecting Liam to ring through on Skype, but when he doesn't, knowing he would never miss a moment like that, the harsh truth of it all would hit me square in my heart. I'll put in one of the DVDs that he sent and crumble to bits watching it. I guess I'm lucky to have little Liam to be strong for. I can play the charade of the stiff upper lip because I have to for him.."

Rick nodded.

"When Liam, I mean Billy found out -"

"You can call him Liam," Rick said. "He was Liam to you."

She smiled.

"When Liam found out we were going to have a child, no man was as excited about becoming a father than he was. It was both the most joyful and the worst possible moment all at the same time. He had been ordered deported and had a very short time to leave. It tore him apart to have to leave me and face giving birth alone. I told him that as long as he was happy about the life I was carrying, it would be enough. Liam always wanted to be a part of my life and the life of our child. There was never a moment when he made me feel he would abandon me and our little one. It was difficult, but not impossible."

Olivia paused, her expression became soft and far away.

"We never stopped loving each other. Little Liam just brought us closer, but I'd worry if I didn't hear from him for long stretches. I knew it was a part of the job, his commitment and courage were what made me fall in love with him, but it was just those same qualities that had made me afraid for him as well."

Rick nodded in understanding.

"I can tell you were particularly close to him."

Rick swallowed his emotion down.

"He was not only a great agent, but he taught me how to be a better man and how to keep the dark side of the job from changing me. It's a unique perspective," Rick tried to smile, but it was short-lived again.

Olivia smiled back, her own emotions threatening to brim over.

"He was unique, I'll give you that. I see him in little Liam every day. Whenever he smiles, laughs, even plays, I see him. It’s a comfort. He's inherited his father's charm as well," Olivia giggled at the thought.

Rick returned the smile and this time it stayed.

"Liam was upstanding, committed to the work, but he never let us forget that he would be there for us at a moment's notice as well, even come back at the risk of imprisonment if we needed him. His love for Queen and country was as absolute as it was for us..." She felt herself slipping again, her voice clogging up. "I knew what he did for a living, he never lied about it or about some of the things he had to do for it. Every time we'd talk, he would apologize and assert that I was his soulmate, that no one would come before both of us..."

She then broke into a soft sob.

"He didn't have to do that. I always knew he would never hurt us...he wasn't that kind of man..."

"He was the best of the profession...I was with him when he..." Rick said unable to hold back his own sob. "I couldn't save him and even though he told me not to blame myself, that there was nothing I could have done...I can't help feeling I could have done more. There are days when I think it should have been me,” Rick said, breaking down ever so slightly.

"Rubbish!" Olivia insisted strongly. "I know Liam and he wouldn't stand for such bollix. He would tell me about all of you, pride was written all over his face and whenever he talked about you, he'd have a mischievous glint in his eye. He told me that you had the heart of a hero and that he considered it his duty to keep you from becoming disillusioned, to never betray you as his mates here had so that you would never suffer the fate that had befallen him. I wish you could have heard the admiration in his voice."

Rick took in a deep breath, wiped his eyes.

"He's never talked about what happened to him here."

"It was betrayal, plain and simple. His friends framed him for their traitorous deeds and every agent Liam thought was his friend abandoned him so as to not taint themselves. It was all rubbish," she said as she spat angrily at the injustice. "But as was Liam's nature, he knew that to clear his name he would need proof that he knew he couldn't get without help and he was as good as dead to the British Secret Service and to his mates. He refused to put us in danger by trying. His reputation was meaningless, all that had mattered was our safety, he'd said. So he’d accepted his fate and remade himself in America and with great success. I had no doubt that he would. He told me that he had finally found men who had believed in the same principles as he did. He was happy, Rick. You and the others renewed his faith in friendship and the craft. He had no regrets."

"Thank you for saying that."

"It's the truth."

Rick nodded, but his heart was still heavy with the loss. Olivia then tentatively brought him into a hug, allowing him to retract if he wanted to. Rick didn't and they hugged for each other's loss, but also for Billy. He would have wanted them to find solace but then he would want them to move on. At that moment, it seemed impossible for both of them.

They broke their embrace and knew that it was time to face their collective reality. Reluctantly, they put in the DVD, the last one Billy had left for them, the last time they could pretend.

"Ah, the love of my life and the friend with the hero's heart. My own heart is full thinking of you two together viewing this. The last of my untold truths revealed. In a life and career full of deception and lies, it feels good to finally unburden myself to bring you two together and Liam to the man whom I know will be his teacher, his mentor and who will fill his life with hope and optimism. I have one last mission to accomplish before I can rest. "

Rick stared at the screen, fresh tears once again being beckoned against his will.

"I know young Rick still has one burning question. You're still wondering why I chose you after only knowing you for what you believe is a scant amount of time especially to charge you with the life and safety of Liv and my son. You shortchange your worth to Michael and Casey and now to my family. I see that you will need convincing that you are up to the task and worthy of it. I will need to press upon Liv and Liam to give you that proof for I cannot. I can only tell you that if you've trusted my judgment in the field on all the missions we have worked together, then trust my judgment of you.

"You are also wondering why I went to such great lengths to bring you to this point and as recently as six months ago. Did I have a death wish? Most certainly not. You should know me better than that, but though none of us knows when it will be our time, people in our profession, the likelihood is high and more importantly unpredictable. Since Liam's birth I have tried to prepare for that contingency, but when you joined our ranks, I knew my search was over. I had the man who would teach my son everything he would need to navigate this harsh world without sacrificing his idealism and hope for humanity. There was no reason to think about it or to delay in setting all that has come to pass into motion. I was certain that I had found my man.. The last time I was this certain was when I wanted to be the best father I could for my child. Of course I talked everything over with Liv and even to Liam, seeking his approval of having an uncle, readying him to meet you as well as Michael and Casey. I hope that Liv and especially Liam have proven to you that you are a part of the family."

Liv watched her Liam and then looked over at Rick. She was touched by Rick's faithful friendship to the man she loved and would love to the end of her own life. As always, Liam's instincts were spot on and it seemed right to her that he would unite her and her son with his other family, the team that he had worked so seamlessly with, who had renewed his faith in defeating evil and for whom he would gladly die for. It gave her a feeling of peace and security knowing that Liam hand-picked their protectors.

"Livvie, love, my heart is yours and will be into eternity. Thank you for believing in me during my darkest days. I know I don’t deserve you, but I would be only half a man without you,” Billy said, for the first time, his voice wavering, his face crumbling with grateful tears. “Your love saw me through it all and gave me the strength to leave you which only made me love you all the more. Though I yearn for your touch and embrace, it takes very little to recall it in my soul. You have given me more than I could ever have asked for and in Liam, you have given what I thought impossible. There are not enough words to express how much I love you and now, it is my turn to give you permission to let me go, please, please my love, free my soul to rest by loving again, finding someone to give you what I couldn’t. I know you will protest, deny yourself for Liam’s sake and for the sake of my memory, but you would be grieving me beyond measure if you let your beautiful soul become taken with mine. Let love into that open heart that found me wanting and fulfilled me. I will rest happily knowing you and Liam are happy. It is all I want for you.”

Olivia was crying uncontrollably and Rick felt compelled to hold her, his own tears not yet fully shed.

“There is nothing more I can say except that though my life has ended, I have no regrets, for every event that has come to pass, both egregious and jubilant, has brought me to you both and to the ODS where I am proud of all of the good work I have done with my best mates. In my view, I was given a second life then. Celebrate my life, do not mourn it and most importantly, live your lives with joy and when you do, I shall be with you in spirit celebrating with you. Then and only then will you truly be fulfilling all that I wish for you.”

Billy’s face was so full of life as he then got up and turned off the camera.

Then his voice was gone. It was the kind of silence that tears into the fabric of existence, forever changing it.

Rick then cleared his throat, let go of Olivia, wiped his tears and smiled.

“He’s right,” he said. “You’re right. I have to stop this. I have to make his death have more meaning than just wallowing. All those truths he’d taught me, they can’t go silent with him. I realized that when his son, your son, greeted me with uninhibited joy and trust. I want to be as good of a teacher, a mentor for the next ODS new guy that Billy was to me. I owe him that and much more.”

Olivia smiled at Rick’s determination.

“You’ll make him proud. I know you will.”

FIN - Thanks for reading and I hope it was worth it.

  • 1
You know I love character death, and this is such a great, poignant twist on it. Wonderful work! :)

You do a great job with this. I like how Michael and Casey know Billy made the right choice before Rick himself. And I love how much we can see of Billy in little Liam. It's both warming and wrenching all at once. And you set it up so wonderfully for Rick to go back and fill the void that Billy left, which is some respite. Billy will live on -- in his family and in Rick -- no matter what.

Nicely done.

I'm so happy you liked it!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story and that you liked the twist as well as that you felt I captured Billy's "legacy". I've had the idea of Billy having a son for a long time because it's completely believable that he would make a wonderful and loving father. I know how you feel about deathfics so it means a lot that you took the time to read it. I especially appreciate that you felt I did little Liam justice. I really wanted to make him a heart breaker like his dad. And I do laugh at my relentless need to make Billy "talk" even from the grave. I enjoyed keeping his presence throughout. It's just too irresistible.

  • 1